


You can't catch them doing something if they're not hiding

by necroscura



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Established Relationship, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Sibling Incest, and im scared, bc reiritsu is the focus, camboy ritsu, mao's pov, ritsumao are boyfriends but i decided not to tag it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:27:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29112300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/necroscura/pseuds/necroscura
Summary: It's not like sex is a must-have in Mao's life, no, he might as well get on with his business without any kind of problem other than the obvious frustration and tension that any other boy his age could empathize with, but it’s not something that a little time alone in front of the screen of his phone couldn’t solve.
Relationships: Sakuma Rei/Sakuma Ritsu
Comments: 7
Kudos: 29





	You can't catch them doing something if they're not hiding

It’s pretty late at night and of course, scrolling down through the interface of some generic porn site isn’t one of Mao’s proudest moments, considering that since he got into what you could call a relationship with Ritsu, looking for physical release like this, had been long forgotten.

It's not like sex is a must-have in Mao's life, no, he might as well get on with his business without any kind of problem other than the obvious frustration and tension that any other boy his age could empathize with, but it’s not something that a little time alone in front of the screen of his phone couldn’t solve. 

His current school and social situation gives him no truce, and you could say the same thing for Ritsu. His duties as a student, a member of Trickstar and part of the student council, and not to mention any other tasks he has to fulfill just to be considered a functional human being is keeping him struggling. Learning how to handle busy schedules is difficult, and the time he could use for himself has been gradually reducing since the beginning of this school year until, well, at this point it’s practically non-existent. Ritsu seems to be suffering from the same dilemma, although less extreme, since Ritsu isn’t part of the student council and somehow always manages to get away with things despite doing nothing more than the strictly necessary, but that doesn’t overlap the fact that he´s part of one of Yumenosaki's most renowned units, and the little that Mao knows about the Sakuma family situation is enough for him to feel overwhelmed.

Usually it’s Ritsu who begins the physical contact, but it’s never the right time or place, so their activities can’t go beyond the occasional kisses and sneaky touches, and Mao couldn’t even end up enjoying it because the very idea of someone watching and reporting them made his blood run cold. So, Mao is kind of desperate. Now, that he barely finished yesterday's assigned tasks, is already so late at night that the possibility of sneaking for a midnight rendezvous doesn’t even cross his mind, because by this time everyone is asleep, and he has nothing left to do but to take care of the bulge in his underwear by himself (even if Ritsu is definitely very awake by this time of the night).

A little visual stimulation would be more than enough. Tomorrow more and more duties await him, so he couldn’t take the liberties he normally would. The problem is: no video is convincing and it’s a never-ending of clicking and closing videos almost immediately, since the people in the videos don't feel ... real. Mao wants to find something more "normal", something that he would do with Ritsu and none of those pre-made videos is appealing. Then he remembers that lives exist.

It isn’t Mao's first time watching one of those. He would never invest money in something like that (it's not like he had any, he’s just a student and all his savings go directly to Trickstar), but sometimes it can be fun and gives that false sense of connection, when the person faced to the camera as they spoke and interacted with their audience. However, there are thousands of people in live and choosing one is complicated, considering that the thumbnails don't reveal too much. Mao knows that making a decision could take some time, as he could spend the entire night scrolling down without users running out, so he quickly swipes his thumb upwards and then presses a random thumbnail, without even stopping to see it.

Adjusting his headphones, Mao raised the brightness of his screen a bit. It seemed like the show was just beginning.

The screen shows a thin boy, quite young apparently. The camera is positioned so that the boy is right in the center and everyone can have a clear view of his entire body, except for his nose and up from his face.

He’s sitting on a bed covered on white sheets, sitting up straight on his knees, so his calves supported the weight of his entire body against the mattress. His legs, slightly spread, leaves a small space that his hands occupy. At the back of the room, there’s an intense red light which illuminates enough so every image and movement is clear to the viewers, while creating an attractive dark contrast in the boy's figure and revealing that he’s wearing some kind of white lingerie. If he used a normal light, it would probably have been camouflaged with his pale skin.

The image remains static except for some subtle movements for almost a minute. Mao is about to leave and look for a live that has already begun, until the boy leans forward, pushing and holding himself at the same time with his hands clutching at the sheets. His face is very close to the camera, revealing nothing but his nose and mouth and a mass of straight black hair above his shoulders that molds to the shape of his head, giving almost the impression that Mao is face to face to him.

His lips, which appeared to be a soft pink color, curved into a smile as the boy made a soft, throaty sound. He seems to be reading the comments from the viewers. After a moment, the boy chuckles and clears his throat. Mao had the feeling that the sound is familiar, but thinking about it is weird and quite unlikely, so he lets it pass and tries to get that thought out of his head, as a morbid curiosity takes hold of him. 

Mao's erection rests lazily on his groin and since the fun seems about to begin and the boy in front of the camera appears to be undeniably attractive, Mao begins with low strokes, without taking his eyes off the screen for a second. Then, to his surprise, he speaks:

“The requests today sound pretty fun. It makes me sad, but I'll have to decline. " The boy's voice is soft and he takes his time to pronounce each word, as if he enjoys it. It even sounds like a purr, and it’s a tone of voice Mao has heard many times, most of the time directed at him.

That makes him stop and freeze, feeling his heart suddenly pound. It's ridiculous, Mao tells himself. There's no way that guy is Ritsu, it doesn't make any sense, and anyway, assuming Ritsu really does lives on porn sites every now and then, what's the chance of Mao, of all people, having the bad (or good) luck to come across his profile?

"Don’t worry." The boy says and let's his tongue wet his lips, and Mao's thoughts are interrupted to pay full attention. ”Obviously, I'll make it up to you in our next sessions, but today ..., it's special. "

That said, the boy positions himself on the bed laterally, supporting himself with his hands and knees on the mattress so his body is in full view. His back is straight, with his hips slightly raised up, however, he’s looking down, and his hair, affected by gravity, completely hides his face but a little bit of his chin. Mao is disappointed by that, although it makes sense, being an active participant in these kinds of activities, the logical thing is to want to keep as much anonymity as possible, so Mao wouldn’t be surprised if his hair covering so conveniently his face is not a coincidence.

“I’ve been so lonely lately, so I hope you can understand and don’t get jealous because of this. It’s a one time thing and he’s just keeping me warm, don’t you, oniichan?”

“Darling, don’t lie to them.” says a second voice. 

On the left side, the figure of a man makes a presence. Although he still looks quite young, he’s considerably taller and larger and more athletic in build, which is even more noticeable when the two of them are so close to each other. Unlike the younger one, the man is already completely naked and standing behind the other, his erection almost touching his ass. Mao would be lying if he said that this scene is not erotic, but the fact that both voices see to be so familiar to him, and that the more he looked at the boy, the more convinced he becomes that he had seen that same body under his so many times, and although curiosity kills him inside (the main reason to why he haven’t closed the page despite the fact that his own erection began to soften), the situation is, at least, grotesque.

A pair of hands push aside the lingerie the boy is wearing, not stripping him off of it completely, but simply moving it out of the way. The boy lets out a sigh as those same hands begin to travel up his body, taking him under the ribs and sliding down his hips.

“I’m not lying.” he says, and the man behind him chuckles. 

The man takes from somewhere in the bed what looks like a bottle of lube and then, he coates his fingers on the substance and begins to rub them against his entrance, not pushing the fingers inside, but applying enough pressure to make the boy moan and lift his hips in an attempt to get closer. With one hand keeping the smaller one still, the man sinks one of his lube-drenched fingers inside and wastes no time, starting to thrust his finger in and out promptly, adding another one when the hole gives away. 

Mao couldn't force himself to take his eyes off the screen, watching with eyes wide open the way those fingers disappear with every thrust, ears sensitive to the wet squelching and the little whiny noises the boy makes. He’s Ritsu. He has to be Ritsu. That room looks like Ritsu’s, he sounds like Ritsu and he even acts like Ritsu. The way he trembles and collapses into the mattress, voice high and arched back- Mao is sure, he has seen the very same sight a lot of times.

“Right there.” That's what Ritsu usually says when Mao finds the spot, but it always comes like a rambling, as if his tongue has fallen asleep. And it doesn’t surprises him when the camboy does the same, lifting his hips even higher for a better angle, every little thing he does looks like an imitation, like an exaggeration of something Ritsu would do and Mao wonders, if he is really is Ritsu, is he genuinely enjoying it so much? Is it really that good that he can’t keep his mouth shut?

The boy is a mess, trembling, knees barely supporting his weight under him and face buried against the sheets and still, with the cloth muffling his voice, Mao could hear his moans loud and louder than he ever heard. It has to be part of the show, Mao thinks as an awful knot starts to grow on the bottom of his stomach. If he's really Ritsu, he has to be faking it at some degree, portraying himself like this, like he’s hungrier, needier and noisier because that’s what people want to see- because that’s what people want to pay for, and not because that’s what he feels. 

But it feels awful. Mao knows it doesn’t matter if Ritsu (of course, assuming he’s Ritsu) is faking it or not. Mao knows, if Ritsu needs money, this kind of work would be one of his last options, and Mao knows, too, that Ritsu doesn't really need that money, if his family's wealth is enough for him, if he can afford to refuse jobs in modeling thaMao can only dream of receiving, then he doesn't need that money. And thinking about it that way is even more painful, because Mao could understand it if Ritsu is driven by need, but if not, then does that mean that he does it out of boredom? Mao, again, could understand if Ritsu were alone, if there was no one in front of the camera other than Ritsu and only Ritsu.

Something starts stirring inside Mao, something barely perceptible increases by the second, a dull feeling that had been forced into lethargy for years. Mao had felt it at times, when his parents celebrated his sister's successes more often than they celebrated Mao’s, when in Yumenosaki he sees boys his age who carry an innate talent when it comes to being a idol, but that was just a pinch that immediately woke him up from his reverie: if Mao can afford to waste time feeling jealous, it means that he’s feeling it due to his own mediocrity. If Mao worked harder, if he tried harder, there would come a time when being envious of the abilities of others would be impossible, because anyone who looked his way would know that, objectively, Mao is good at what he does.

That isn’t something to worry about when he’s with Ritsu. Ritsu always talks about how much he loves Mao, he says it for day and night, whether Mao is good or bad at this or that is irrelevant, because Ritsu is the only person in the world who loves Mao for who he is. And there are days when thinking about it and letting it make its way through the silence is comforting, because to think about someone who loves him unconditionally, despite whatever Mao might say to refute it and simply let himself be carried away and believe in those sugar coated words is surprisingly simple.

It's because Mao is pretentious, too, that’s why jealousy hurts so much. Of course at some point Ritsu is going to get bored of always being the one waiting for Mao after school. Of course Mao is going to get used to it and take it for granted, to assume that Ritsu would always be waiting for him, even if he had no reason to be waiting. And jealousy is even worse than Mao remembered, it’s like a lump that oppresses his throat, like a fire that feeds on his flesh and bitterness and it doesn't blow out even when there is nothing left to gnaw on.

Maybe it's because Mao no longer has time for Ritsu and Ritsu translates this inside his head as Mao no longer wanting to have time for him. And Ritsu has needs, that's obvious, in the same way that Mao finds himself watching these kinds of videos in the middle of the night and although many people consider their partner watching porn as a betrayal, that doesn’t make what unfolds in front of his eyes any less hurtful.  
The scene continues. The man removes his fingers out of him, slippery and shiny under the light, the same he uses to grab his cock and jerk on slow motions into his hand.

“Hurry.” the boy says, voice raspy. It’s almost a whisper, and Mao wouldn’t be able to hear it if it had not been for the use of headphones keeping all the details, every single sound echoing inside his skull. 

“Hmmm, excuse this old man, I may have got it wrong, but earlier, didn’t you say ‘the longer it lasts, the better’? Maybe I should read some recommendations, just to keep it entertaining for the ones watching...” The man answers and there’s a dash of amusement staining his voice as he keeps stroking himself even lazily, like he’s doing it not for the sake of finding relief, but because he has nothing else to do. 

It doesn't seem to be the first time they do this, maybe the first time making a show out of it if the boy claiming this to be a "special occasion" is any indicator, but other than that, they both give the impression of knowing each other fairly well. But Mao tries not to think about it too much, in fact, he tries not to think about a lot of things and just let them pass behind the screen as if they were totally oblivious to him, as if those two people were two complete strangers and that those voices, movements and speech patterns don't sound familiar to the point of nausea.

“No, I’m telling you now. Make yourself useful and hurry.” The boy barely gets up, supporting his weight under his elbows and arching his back gracefully. He sounds pissed or at least, he’s harsh enough to result rather rude and Mao recoils, hitting the back of his head against the wall.

That’s a good pose. It offers a nice, lateral view of his sharp shoulders, the outline of his ribs and his perfectly positioned legs, lingerie hugging the curve of his ass, skin after skin, so clean and immaculate, it could easily be lifeless just like that kind of beauty so often immortalized in ink and marble- but there's a breath swelling his chest, a voice and a flow of blood under the skin, which betrays the fragrant life whose body keeps inside. As full of life, as real as Mao would expect him to be, although thinking about it like it isn't, makes it easier. 

"Oh my. You ’re breaking my heart, talking to me like this…” Mao has no idea if the man is really hurt by the comment or if he is simply being dramatic, yet that seems to be his usual dynamic.

The boy hisses, clearly irritated, but his body trembles slightly, waiting.

“Oniichan. Hurry. Up. Please.” he says, his hips contorted and face turned downward, gazing between his legs. You can tell he’s trying to please the man beside him, to seduce him into doing what he wants him to do, because his voice softens and it could be mistaken as a beg, if not for the clear, solid words, it’s meant to be an order. 

Mao is not quite surprised when the other man puts his hands on the boy's hips almost instantly, his fingers sinking into the flesh. Mao understands better than anyone how intoxicating it’s to give Ritsu what he wants, without questioning if that’s the right thing to do or if that’s really what Ritsu needs, because even in doing so, it’s irrelevant when living between absences, half secrets and shame entangled with faith is easier than questioning what is supposed to be natural on them. 

“Of course. For you, anything.” It takes him a minute to get it done. He starts slow, alternating his right hand between his cock, guiding himself to the right angle and pressing, pulling Ritsu to him, then he settles his hand on Ritsu’s waist again, holding him still, his grip getting a little more rough as time passes. He groans when he is finally all the way inside, and Mao can’t stop thinking- Perhaps is him, needing to find familiarity inside the unknown, when unconsciously he tries to give a face and name to the man he sees on the screen and if he’s convinced, if every second that passes, there are more and more reasons to think that one of them is Ritsu, the idea is unpleasant, and Mao feels disgusted with himself for even considering it, but he can't get it out of his head. And maybe the other one is Rei.

Mao doesn't know Rei very well - as well as he knows Ritsu, for example, to the point where he’s able to predict what Ritsu would do in certain situations and recognize his voice without having to be in front of him - and he isn’t proud at all for reaching that conclusion , because thinking of the Sakuma in that way isn’t acceptable, but above all, as selfish as it may be, that possibility makes Mao feel even more betrayed.

The idea of Ritsu having affairs with any other guy in Yumenosaki now sounds even comforting. If it were any other boy, Mao might be able to understand it, in the sense that assimilating it would be difficult, of course, but in time he would get over it, like any other painful thing he had to endure. If that boy was Rei, on the other hand ... What is Mao supposed to do about it? It's enough, it makes him feel sick and start questioning every touch, every look and every word that the brothers ever shared in his company, and everything stops being so innocent and everything Ritsu has said about it starts to look more like a lie - and Mao knows that Ritsu has a bad habit of lying sometimes, even though it really isn't necessary, simply because he thinks the truth is ugly or boring or complicated.

The difference is: when Ritsu tells a white lie, Ritsu doesn't try to make it believable and Mao eventually finds it out, but when Ritsu lies about serious things, Mao might as well take years to figure it out, because Ritsu is cunning and careful on the details, and his lips don’t tremble when he lies. Like when he kept the lie that he was an only child for years - and Mao found out the truth when they both were studying in Yumenosaki, just because sustaining the lie any longer became impossible.

Mao remembers what Ritsu said when he confronted him - it wasn't a lie, actually, because avoiding mentioning something is not the same as lying. And Mao let it go, without adding anything else, even though he probably should have tried to get something from Ritsu. He thought that it was nothing more than a conflict between brothers that would eventually be resolved, just as it happens when he argues with his sister, sometimes there’s no need to even apologize or talk seriously about it. Siblings argue because of misunderstandings, because of the tension caused by their differences, because there is nothing better to do and arguing is a way to kill time and Mao assumes, since he has no way of knowing for sure, in a family like the Sakuma, there isn't many things to amuse themselves with.

There are major and minor conflicts. Sometimes his younger sister doesn't speak to him for days until Mao apologizes to her and other times she breaks the cold shoulder when keeping it for longer stops to be credible, just as there are times when it’s not necessary to say anything because hours later, everything returns to normal like nothing has happened. What is going on between the Sakuma brothers seemed to be something much bigger and serious than any other misunderstanding Mao had with his sister, and it's true, maybe Ritsu just avoided mentioning the existence of his older brother all these years, but to make such an important part of his life go unnoticed, it’s necessary to lie about many other smaller things, and Mao finds that too complicated of a job. It's taking too much trouble, to come from someone who doesn't like to take trouble like Ritsu.

Mao thinks and thinks and thinks, until his thoughts absorb him and all sound, all movement happening across the screen merges into the background despite having it in front of his eyes, clear and moving, alive and real.

Wanting to hide something like that is logical. If Mao's suspicions are real, he couldn't blame Ritsu for wanting it to be a secret. It makes sense to hide something like that. There are things that Mao doesn't want anyone to know, because Mao is not a saint and has done questionable things, things that would tarnish the perception that others see of him if they knew - like everyone else, having secrets is natural. Of course, if is that so, Mao understands.

What he doesn't understand, however, is why Ritsu involved him in this. What Mao, then, doesn’t understand, is why Ritsu insisted on making their relationship official, something serious, with name and etiquette. If being in a relationship with someone means committing to taking care of each other, spending time together, and speaking sincerely for the sake of each other, then Mao doesn't understand why Ritsu is doing this.

Mao leaves his room and walks down the hall to the living room in the dark. With only the light of his phone guiding him, Mao manages to press the correct buttons on the landline, Ritsu's phone, that number he has already dialed so many times that he knows it by heart. Every morning before going for him, Mao usually calls, not waiting for Ritsu to actually answer the call, only for him to ginger up and make waking him up easier, like an alarm clock. That trick was undoubtedly much more effective at first. Now, Ritsu has gotten used to it and he can ignore the noise while he sleeps.

Mao's gaze returns to his cell phone screen as Ritsu's phone begins to ring, one of his earphones slipping from his ear.

Ritsu and Rey - or who seem to be them, are still the same, almost as if time hasn't passed since Mao stopped giving them his full attention for a few moments. The sound of sex, skin slapping against skin and white sheets slipping. Everything seems the same, except for Ritsu's moans, higher and less defined, announcing that the act is soon to end. But Mao doesn't want to stay until the end. His eyes are starting to sting and he knows that he wouldn't bear it, and he’ll probably cry if he stares at the screen for a single minute longer, and if he actually cries, he wouldn’t only feel pathetic with himself, but he would also wake his family up, if the careless way in which he left his room was not enough, because the seconds pass and Ritsu doesn't answer and the lump in his throat tightens more and more as the phone beeps. If Mao cries, at this moment, it won’t exactly be a silent cry.

"Make it stop." Ritsu manages to say, voice small and screw up tight. "Make it stop. I can't..." 

Rei stretches out his hand, forced to slow down the pace of his thrusts as he tilts his upper body. As he straightens, in his hand there is a phone, from which hangs that same key charm that Mao gave away to Ritsu a few months ago, it pictures a cute face from a manga Mao convinced him to read (and Ritsu didn’t like it that much, but he uses it anyway). Rei holds it in front of his face and the artificial light illuminates what little the camera lets to see of his face. His fingers slide across the screen a few times and finally, he tosses it back onto the mattress without much care. Mao's call is rejected.

Mao decides to close the tab and lock his phone. He hopes to start crying, maybe he’ll sit on the couch of the living room and cry until the sunlight begins to filter through the window, but nothing comes out. The sting in his eyes has disappeared as if it had never been there.

All of his worries have gone quiet. Everything's gone quiet. There's a white silence inside his head and it feels like— nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> its not like i dont like ritsumao, i like it a lot but today i wanted to make mao cry. also, cheating makes me very sad and i think thats the reason why i dont like this fic but i hope it wasnt that bad lol


End file.
